He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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