I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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