Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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