if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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