He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Randomize