just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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