ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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