So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize