you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
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He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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