is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
why is half of my head shaved?
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