I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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