Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize