; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize