Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize