i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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