Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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