It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize