I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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