IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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