Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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