you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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