hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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