drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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