The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize