Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize