At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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