i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
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But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
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We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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