It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize