Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize