I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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