i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
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on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
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Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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