i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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