Non-Jews are for practice
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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