I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize