We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
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His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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