is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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