flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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