Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
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I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
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I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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