I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Are we still banned from the library?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize