can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
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This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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