Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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