Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize