Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
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Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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