The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize