I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize