Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
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Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
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I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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