you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize