we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
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I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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