i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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