But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
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These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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