I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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